How to Help a Child Who Worries: 7 Calming Strategies for Parents

The stomachache that showed up every Monday

Every Monday morning, Ava's stomach hurt. By Tuesday, it was a headache. Her mom checked with the pediatrician, and everything looked fine. Then one night at bedtime, Ava whispered, "What if I get the answer wrong in front of everyone?"

The stomachaches weren't really about her stomach. They were about worry.

All kids worry sometimes, and a little worry is a normal, healthy part of growing up. But when worries start to get in the way of school, sleep or fun, kids need tools to manage them. Here's how to help a child with worry, with practical strategies for every age.

What worry looks like in kids

Kids don't always say "I'm worried." Worry often shows up as:

• Stomachaches or headaches, especially before school or activities

• Lots of "what if" questions

• Trouble falling asleep

• Avoiding new situations, activities or people

• Clinginess or trouble separating from parents

• Irritability, tears or meltdowns that seem to come out of nowhere

7 ways to help your child manage worry

1. Listen and validate

Before trying to fix the worry, let your child know you understand: "That sounds really scary. I'm glad you told me." Feeling heard helps kids feel safe enough to work through it.

2. Name the worry

Some families give worry a silly name, like "the Worry Monster." Separating the worry from your child helps them see it as something they can talk back to. Helping kids name their feelings is a powerful first step.

3. Teach calming breaths

Slow breathing helps the body relax. Try "smell the flower, blow out the candle," or have your child breathe in for four counts and out for four counts. Practice when everyone is calm so it's easy to use when worry shows up.

4. Make a worry time

Set aside 10 minutes a day to talk about worries. If worries pop up at other times, your child can write them down or "save" them for worry time. This keeps worries from taking over the whole day.

5. Be a "detective" together

For older kids, gently look at the evidence: "What's the worst that could happen? What's most likely to happen? What could you do if it did?" This helps kids see that they can handle more than they think.

6. Take small brave steps

Avoiding scary things can make worry grow. Instead, break challenges into small steps. If your child is nervous about a birthday party, maybe they stay for 30 minutes the first time. Celebrate every brave try.

7. Create calm routines

Predictable mornings and bedtimes help worried kids feel secure. Pack backpacks the night before, keep mornings unhurried when you can and build a calming bedtime routine.

Helping with school-morning worries

Mornings are often the hardest time for worried kids. Try:

• Preparing clothes, lunches and backpacks the night before

• Waking up a little earlier so mornings feel less rushed

• A short, consistent goodbye routine, like a special handshake

• Talking about one thing your child is looking forward to that day

Worry at different ages

• Ages 4–6: Worries often center on separation, the dark or new places. Use comfort objects, predictable routines and simple breathing games.

• Ages 7–10: Worries about school, friends and performance become more common. Try worry time and naming the Worry Monster.

• Ages 11–14: Social worries and pressure grow. Listen without rushing to fix, and help them practice "detective thinking."

• Ages 15–18: Teens may worry about grades, the future and relationships. Talk about stress management, sleep and balance, and share what helps you.

When to look for extra support

If worries are happening most days, getting in the way of school, sleep or friendships, or seem to be growing, it's a good idea to get support. In one-on-one social-emotional coaching, a dedicated Topy coach helps your child practice calming strategies and build confidence, live from home. Topy is coaching, not therapy. If your child's worry is severe, constant or affecting their health or safety, please talk with your pediatrician or a licensed mental health professional.

Want to start at home? Calmer Together is our self-guided, 8-week program to help parents navigate big feelings and tough routines.

Frequently asked questions

How can I help my child stop worrying?

Worry doesn't completely go away, and that's okay. You can help your child manage it by listening, naming the worry, practicing calming breaths, setting a daily worry time and encouraging small brave steps.

Is it normal for kids to worry a lot?

Some worry is a normal part of childhood. If worries are frequent, intense or getting in the way of daily life, it's a good idea to talk with someone.

Why does my child get stomachaches before school?

Stress and worry can show up as physical symptoms, like stomachaches and headaches. Check with your pediatrician first to rule out medical causes, then talk with your child about how they're feeling.

What's the difference between worry and anxiety?

Everyone worries sometimes. When worry becomes intense, constant or starts to interfere with everyday life, it may be anxiety, which a licensed mental health professional can assess.

Written by Dr. Priscilla Ruiz, founder of Topy. Dr. Ruiz holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and a master's in Curriculum and Instruction, and has more than 15 years of experience in psychology and education. She's also a mom of three. Learn about our approach.